Oak Ridge Boys Book Club discuss G.I. Joe and Lillie
The Oak Ridge Boys Message Board at http://www.oakridgeboys.com has a very active book club and discussion group who have read and given input on great books like The Re Tent and The Lovely Bones. In this forum, they discuss G.I. Joe and Lillie and your author certainly appreciates their reading the book and then, taking the time to share their thoughts.
I thought that it would make for an interesting and enlightening feature for those who come here to find out more about the book. Thank You All and God Bless,
Joseph S. Bonsall
Oak Ridge Boys Board
Oaks Talk
April Book Discussion: GI JOE and LILLIE
Author Topic: April Book Discussion: GI JOE and LILLIE
WizardofZA
Okay, sports fans, here goes! Marlene asked me to get this started this month, and it seems everybody is more than ready, so I am happy to do so. Hopefully you have all had the chance to read the book. Many of you have had the chance to flatter the socks off of the author as well. My hope is that we can have a great discussion about the content of the book now and really be able to give the author some feedback about his story and writing style, without said author's head getting any bigger. (sorry, Joe, couldn't resist!)
To begin, it seems appropriate to make some comparisons between World War II and the present day war in Iraq. For example, the role of women in wartime has really changed since Lillie's day. She was doing clerical work and escorting soldiers home. Today, women are on the front lines and are POW's. How do you feel about these changes?
Modern technology has changed how we learn about the war. Would it have made a difference if GI Joe's family had instant access to hearing about his injuries? Would his father have been more concerned, or would his mother have written him in the hospital? Do you think that might have made a difference in his life?
Along these same lines, the author has already discussed his ideas as to the relevance of his story to today's times; what are your thoughts?
VCexplorer
As for women being on the front lines, I almost hate to see it. But, I know they get the same training as the men, and are more than capable of handling themselves in battle. In WWII I'm sure many women would have jumped in to help with the fighting, but regulations at the time kept them on the homefront most of the time. With men overseas fighting, the women pitched in helping the war effort by working in the factories.
I think if his family had instant access to finding out about his injuries, his Mother would have written to him. I don't know if it would have changed his Dad's views?
I think there's a lot of similarities between today's War in Iraq and WWII. The people were more united in standing behind the troops. You didn't hear about many protests, like we do today. After hearing how the Viet Nam Vets were treated upon returning home, I was appalled. They did what they were called to do, just as the young men in WWI & WWII. Technology has advanced to the point we can watch what happens as its occurring. Who back in the 40's, could have watched their TV's and seen their loved ones being cut down while storming the beaches?
Acresaway
Thanks for getting us started, Holly. Great questions! I should be going to bed, but can't resist the urge to put in a couple of cents worth tonight.
Definitely, the roles of women have changed since WWII. My Mother worked in a factory cracking eggs all day long (to make powdered eggs for our soldiers) while she raised several children. Lillie was frustrated by "women's work" (paperwork), even in the WACs because she felt she could contribute more, which she surely did when she escorted soldiers and offered comfort. Tonight I watched female doctors and male nurses attend to both male and female soldiers in Iraq. The times have definitely changed. The only thing that I hate to see is both parents on the front lines and away from the children at the same time. One couple that I watched tonight left 3 little ones at home and the mother (a nurse) was crying because of the fear of making orphans of their children. I don't think that both parents should be away at the same time if they have a family. Who goes is their decision. As long as the women can carry the same load as the guys...work-wise and weight-wise and emotionally...so as not to endanger their fellow soldiers, I see no problem with them being there.
Sadly to say, it is my opinion that the reaction from GI Joe's family would most likely not have been much different if they had heard the news of his injuries immediately. I think they were pretty dysfunctional from the get-go. I would like to think that they would have reacted differently.
WizardofZA
Vicki, you bring up a good point about the protests. I wonder what GI Joe and his fellow soldiers would have thought if they had seen protesters all along their train route instead of people cheering them on? Would it have made a difference in their willingness to sacrifice so much? I wonder what today's soldiers think of the current protests as they put their lives on the line.
Glorybee
I agree with Marlene. I don't think that instant news would have made much difference with his parents, and that's sad. Everyone needs parents' support, yet Lillie and Joe survived and made a good life in spite of this lack.
In those days, the issue of whether or not we should fight didn't come up. If you were needed by your country, you went. Women did all that they were allowed to do.
I hate to see women in this position, but if that is their desire, then go for it. But I don't think both parents should be there at the same time when there are children involved.
So much for my 2 cents worth.
nikki1976
With it being tax season and working 12-14 hours a day. I haven't had the chance to get the book read. I would have liked to join in the discussions though after April 15th. Hopefully you will all be discussing the book for a long time to come! It sounds like a GREAT book, and from what I have gotten to read so far, I agree!
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~~Nicole~~
JennyS
I agree that that GI Joe's parents wouldnt have been affected too much to see what was going on. They seemed to be too involved in their own lives. Women in the front lines.. I dont like seeing them in that position either, but I am sure that Lillie would have stood their with pride. I think that the protesters would have had a great impact on GI Joe. Will little encouragement at home, the people cheering seemed to make him very happy and very proud. Protesters would have drug his spirits down!
Acresaway
Nikki, no problem. Jump in when you can. The reason that we started early is because there's so much that can be discussed and many people have already read their books. I would hope that these discussions go on all month long and that people who haven't normally been participating in the book club will add a little to the discussion too.
As for GI Joe's family, I have to wonder if their problems were because they were involved in their own lives or totally beaten down by their own lives. Both of my parents came from households that didn't teach good parenting skills, although my Mother learned great ones from her grandparents and broke the cycle. (She did have a great love for her father, but not her step-mother. Her real mother died when she was 2.) My dad was orphaned at 12 and life was no picnic for him before that. He just didn't know better. It was a tough generation to live in for many. Learned behavior is hard to change, although it can be done.
NFL74
My book just arrived here an hour ago and I am already on chapter 4, hope to jump in on this topic real soon.
VCexplorer
Acres, I would almost be inclined to along with the latter. It would have been very unnerving having those trains go by rattling your house that way. It's always hard to second guess what might have been.
As for both parents being shipped out at the same time. I also disagree if they have children. One should be allowed to stay home. Kind of like that rule where more than one family member can't serve on the same ship. Like the "Fighting Sullivan's."
Wizard, I don't think they would have seen too many protesters back then Patriotism ran so high, if someone did have objections, they either kept it to themselves or would have faced being stoned by an angry mob. Unlike the Viet Nam War, where all vets faced was dissent. Today its half and half for or against. The ones against, still has to cut them deep knowing what they are facing over there.
merry
I'm not a 'big fan' of the current war coverage. My feelings are that the media is being given too much access. Their reporting can jeopardize our troops; not the media's intent but a fact none-the-less.
Would instant coverage have made any sort of impact on GI Joe's family--probably not. We saw that his father gave little thought to Joe. His mother might have reached out more but in some ways it was as though she almost 'feared' doing so because of her husband. Women at that time we taught to care for their husbands and families--obey was a strong word in the marriage vows and women were expected to do it.
I could see Lillie as a suffragette had she been around during those days. She was a strong woman and wanted to do her fair share and then some. From her work she gained pride for unfortunately she had found little at home.
What stood out the most to me was how both GI Joe and Lillie did not let their upbringing 'keep them down'. They both strived to put those days behind them and make a good life for themselves in spite of what appears to be a somewhat loveless homelife and upbringing. They were determined they would be loved and would make certain those whom they loved knew it. (We know it to be so because we see that love through Joey and how what he does he does with passion and sincerity.)
As for the relevance of this story to today's war, I think intensity of the parallel is yet to be seen. What I have noticed is how family reaction back then is finding a resurgence today. It was customary at that time for those with soldiers to display a banner in their windows with a star for each 'son' in battle. Locally we are starting to see those same banners return, only this time it is for sons and daughters. Our soldiers, our veterans put their lives on the line for our freedoms (as well as those of others) and despite the protests there will be those who revere those who are fighting. These soldiers will not be forgotten, just as Lillie made certain that what GI Joe 'gave' was not forgotten.
Neither (Joe nor Lillie) wanted accolades for as GI Joe stated so many times, he was merely doing his job. Lillie made her contribution by not only serving but by doing her best to make certain GI Joe was not forgotten or 'thrown away like an old shoe'.
Kathy O
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My book just arrived this afternoon. I will join the discussion as soon as I finish reading. I've been waiting for this book for such a long time.
Kathy O.
rockiesfan
I'm glad we live in a country where we can openly voice our opinions and not be terrified of being killed, where women can choose any profession, and we have freedom of choose.......My husband and I have both served in the military( he was in Vietnam) and I agree that if both are active duty that one should be back somewhere with the kids.........As far as the effect on his parents, I don't think todays technology would have any effect on them for the better...I'm glad women can serve in many capacities in the military (all except combat jobs such as infantry, armor and artillery) I think Lillie would have been up there at the top of any job she chose- serving very well and proudly.
WizardofZA
I kind of think ol' Roy Bonsall would be right up there basking in the glory of the heroic deeds of his son, fielding TV and movie offers. And I'm thinking his son would have none of it, and might have to shove him right back down in his well-stained living room chair!
I also tend to agree with those who stated that if both spouses are in the military and have children, only one should go. It should be their choice, but I hate seeing both parents in harm's way.
Merry, your point about Lillie not letting her circumstances get her down is well-taken. Lillie's faith is the cornerstone of this story. But it wasn't just faith. She found a way, each and every time adversity was put in her path, to find a way to make things better. She was a living, breathing example of the old adage, "God helps those who help themselves." What does everybody think about that? Do you believe that God has complete control of your life, or that you have responsibility as well? Or I guess another spin on the question, is how many of you are fatalists?
Did you all enjoy the history lesson the author gave us on D-Day? Or do you think that bogged the story down? What did you learn about the invasion that you might not have known before?
Sidewalk Ballerina
I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the preparation for & invasion of the Allied troops on Utah Beach. That was a very important part of the story. To come ashore after being on a cramped vessel in the rain, suffering from seasickness, and then to be faced with enemy fire & mines & a living hell must have been unbelievably horrible for the young American troops!! That was the first part of the book where I actually wept for all of them, even during the second reading. Joe described it very well, so the reader felt as if he/she were there with the troops.
And the horror that G.I. Joe witnessed affected him for the rest of his life. Lillie was a Godsend & stood strong by his side, never "throwing him away like an old shoe". May God bless both of them, and ALL our troops.
JennyS
I did not think that the invasion bogged the story down. As with the rest of the book, Joe gave us just enough detail and history so that if you are a little unfamiliar with what he is talking about, you can keep up. But not over done as to bore the reader. I think that this part was necessary to explain because what happened to GI Joe that day set the course for the rest of his life. Physically and emotionally.
VCexplorer
<<"God helps those who help themselves." What does everybody think about that?>>
I think it means just that. It's a little give and take on both sides. If you pray for something, then sit back and wait for something to happen, you might miss the best thing that ever came along. I liked the fact that Lillie was a strong woman of faith and honor. She prayed for guidance, but then went right out and made things happen. How proud she must have been when she bought her first house. I thought that was great.
I didn't think talking about D-Day bogged the story down (but then I'm a history buff).
I didn't know GI Joe's complete story. Its a testament to the human spirit. Everything he went through on the battlefield, all those operations, and he still came home and provided for his family. Simply amazing.
JennyS
God helps those who help themselves.. Lillie was a very hard worker. I think that the Lord loves that. I am sure that she prayed a lot for help, but didn't sit in the house, watching the TV waiting for the Lord to send someone to offer her what she wanted. We are suppose to depend on the Lord for our needs, but we are also suppose to work for what we need.
opal
LILLIE was a very strong woman, to leave home and join the army. Then to find love and also deal with people she has never meet. Knowing that the only way to make it was on her own, Working, two to three jobs to make end meat, and having a husband in the hospital. I wish JOE would have written more on his mom did she ever talk about any thing that she saw while she was in the war? WE read about his dad flashbacks but did his mom have any post pardon from her time she served. And dose Joe and his sister stay in contact with there parents friends. LILLIE had the best of good and bad times she draw strength on the bad and cherish the good we all should remember that any moment we could have a hard time. Yes God does help those who help them selfs, But we have to get off the pot and show God we are ready to get busy, But adults of that era were taught to work from the time they there little , farming or helping out in a parents store. And they didn't get paid for it. If there are any women on the web that served in ww11 please let everyone hear from you .ask grandparents what they remember .
Acresaway
As for Lillie, she wasn't, but could have been, the author to one of my favorite books..."Don't Tell Me It's Impossible Until After I've Already Done It." Words to live by!(My husband gave me that book because he said that is the way I charge through life, oftentimes.) So, yes, I think we should prayer for what we want and then do our best to help it happen if it is God's will. Yes, I do believe that God has control of my life and it won't matter where I am when my number is called and that if something is not meant to be, it won't happen...but I also believe that God expects me to work for what I truly want and not just say a prayer and then sit back and wait for it to happen.
I think Lillie got through life with a good sense of humor too...and her son inherited it. Loved the story about "What floor are we on?" hehe It was definitely a laugh-out-loud moment.
I enjoyed the history lessons that we got in the book. When GI Joe talked about the dead and maimed soldiers, the beginning of "Saving Private Ryan" kept flashing through my mind. (And the "head incident" just about did me in! What a horrible thing to have to go through and remember the rest of your life.) I don't know how our author made it through "Saving Private Ryan." I am sure it was even more disturbing to him than "We Were Soldiers" was to me when I kept seeing a picture of my nephew outside of his tent in Viet Nam as I watched that movie.
What I learned about the invasion that I really didn't know before has been stated once already, but I really didn't think about what the physical conditions were of the soldiers when they finally hit the beach.
Whatever GI Joe went through with his family, what an amazing story that he would go AWOL to see his mother one more time. Bless his heart, he tried.
merry
quote:
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Originally posted by opal:
I wish JOE would have written more on his mom did she ever talk about any thing that she saw while she was in the war? WE read about his dad flashbacks but did his mom have any post pardon from her time she served.
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Perhaps a good 'jumping off point' for another book from Joe.....whaddya think Joe???
Acresaway
I felt like I did understand a lot of what she saw when she talked about the conditions of the soldiers that she helped. (I can imagine that some of that could give one nightmares.) I got the idea that the trips to Europe were mostly go over and turn almost right around and come back.
Russ67502
As I read the book (now for a second time) I continue to be impressed with GI Joe' struggles once he returned from war - how it never left him.
My dad was in Korea in 1946 and he saw also saw things he would never share with his three sons. It affected him his entire life. He once told me that if I ever bought a Japanese made car he would shoot out my tires and I would never be welcome in his home. That conversation occurred nearly 40 years after his discharge from the Navy.
The book also shows what a truly remarkable woman Lillie Bonsall was. Many wives walked away once the kids were raised, but not Lillie. She was true to the end.
As a 30+ year fan of the Oaks, I am grateful to GI Joe & Lillie for overcoming. Would any of us be oak's fans if not for the unique tenor voice of little Joey? The joy which is obvious at every Oak's concert is a credit to these two remarkable people.
My final thought regards the picture on page 112 of the book. When I turned that page and saw the picture of Joe & Lillie I saw our Joe in the face of his mother. Same with the photo of Lillie on page 109.
I am looking forward to having Joe's signature on my copy later this week.
Acresaway
quote:
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Originally posted by Russ67502:
My final thought regards the picture on page 112 of the book. When I turned that page and saw the picture of Joe & Lillie I saw our Joe in the face of his mother. Same with the photo of Lillie on page 109.
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Thanks for posting, Russ. Very interesting comments.
Ironically, I took a picture at the TV tapings where I saw the face of Joe's Mother in him.
As I watched the news coverage this morning, I couldn't help but continuously compare what we are trying to do for the Iraqi people with what we did for the German people. I an still shocked and appalled that Germany, from where many of my ancestors came, could turn their backs on us after what we did to help rid them of THEIR vicious dictator.
Acresaway
PS...I meant to add that I am so happy to see more people participating in the discussion this month. It is wonderful to read all of your remarks. I hope that you will enjoy it so much, that you will join us again next month!!
merry
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Originally posted by Acresaway:
PS...I meant to add that I am so happy to see more people participating in the discussion this month. It is wonderful to read all of your remarks. I hope that you will enjoy it so much, that you will join us again next month!!
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Any idea right now what next month's selection might be?
Acresaway
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Originally posted by merry:
Any idea right now what next month's selection might be?
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The previously picked book for May is "The King of Torts," by John Grisham. I hope that you will join us. To see a description of this book, please check it at amazon.com. I am sure there are many other places also. This announcement will be made towards the end of this month again.
JODEE
I "connected" right away with Lillie and saw the events of the book through her eyes. I felt the pain of her struggles and the determination of her will. Was she a woman before her time? Maybe, but I doubt she ever thought of herself as being that way. She was just doing what was necessary in life...no fuss or muss, just do it.
Dianne V
I was so impressed with Lillie's spirit and determination... I imagine if they would have allowed women on the front lines, she would have been first in line! (thank goodness she wasn't!)
I was also so touched when, after Joey & Nancy returned home after Joe Sr's stroke, they all three spent the night in the same bed, so happy to be together. To me, that said a lot about them moving forward as a team.
VCexplorer
<<Loved the story about "What floor are we on?" hehe It was definitely a laugh-out-loud moment.>>
I don't think the Dr. found it funny, but I did.ha
<<As for the relevance of this story to today's war, I think intensity of the parallel is yet to be seen.>>
You could start with a parallel between Hitler and Hussein. Troops pushing into enemy territory. Propaganda. I'm sure the list could go on from there.
Jan Rexford
I don't think immediate coverage of the war would have make one whit of difference to GI Joe's family. They could be the poster family for dysfunctional families. Only thing that would have gotten their attention would be if Hollywood would have wanted to make a movie about GI Joe.
About women being on the front lines I think they should be if that is what they want to do.
Lillie was a very determined person with her family being somewhat dysfunctional as well. At least she had her mom's support. She had a lot of faith but went looking for her solutions.
Acresaway
RE: Differences between GI Joe and Lillie's war and today's war
I watched an interview of a young, female Captain ("Captain Thumper") on CNN this AM and her job is to drop missiles and bombs. She flies alone. Definitely, women have come a long way in their wartime jobs. I think Lillie would have jumped right in and flown the plane, but would she/could she have pushed the red button???
VC mentioned once that people in the 40's couldn't see their loved ones on TV and watch the war. Is it a good thing or a bad thing that parents, spouses, and children can see their loved ones on the front lines now? (It was fun watching the GI teaching the Iraqi children how to rap, but what about when the soldiers are in combat?)
Here's some easy and fun questions about the book:
Favorite funny or "feel-good" moment...
Most sad or poignant moment for you...
I know that we have already shared some, but there are lots more!
WizardofZA
Love those questions, Marlene, and there are a lot of choices for each one. Perhaps for me, one of the funniest was perhaps also the most poignant; that of GI Joe escaping from the Veteran's Home. I could just visualize him wheeling away! But, it broke my heart as well. I also have chuckled more than a few times over our illustrious author telling off the doctor....just as an aside, the words that made final publication were NOT as colorful as those in the first draft! hahaha
Acresaway
quote:
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Originally posted by WizardofZA:
the words that made final publication were NOT as colorful as those in the first draft! hahaha
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hahaha...Of that, I have no doubt!
I picked the same one as you for funny and poignant at the same time, but, of course, I would. We are often thinking the same thing.
Kathy O
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I could not put the book down, once I started reading. I laughed through some pages and cried through quite a few. The book was everything I thought it would be. Great job to the author. I thought Lillie was such a remarkable woman. She was presented with so many obstacles but always found a way to "leap" over every one of them. Her determination, love, loyalty and devotion to her husband and family were amazing. She was truly sent by God to take care of GI Joe. I do not think he could have made it without her. I know he was truly thankful everyday to have her and his wonderful children. GI Joe and Lillie both had such trying times as they grew up, but rose above all of this to become the wonderful parents and providers for Joey and Nancy that they were. I know Joe is so proud of his parents, for the service to their country and the sacrifices that they each made for the other and for him and his sister. Likewise, I know they are both proud of "their Joey" and this wonderful book that he has written in their honor. I am sure that they stop dancing to brag with their friends. Thank you, Joe for sharing your life and your family with us. God Bless You.
Kathy O.
merry
quote:
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Originally posted by WizardofZA:
I also have chuckled more than a few times over our illustrious author telling off the doctor....just as an aside, the words that made final publication were NOT as colorful as those in the first draft! hahaha
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I thought the author's response was rather reserved. Having found myself in comparable situations I know I've not been near as "PC" when speaking with physicians.
That particular passage provided quite a chuckle.
Sidewalk Ballerina
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Other poignant or memorable parts of the book:
1. The day of G.I. Joe's stroke- leaving the house to go to work but first coming back inside to kiss his wife goodbye and tell her that he loved her and the kids!! She had packed 2 tuna sandwiches & a peanut butter/ jelly one. That was a sweet detail.
2. Nancy staying at Evelyn's house for the summer, then returning home before school started for the Fall. Asking her mother if she was giving her away? The answer Lillie gave, telling her to go get her clothes and come back home!!
3. G.I. Joe sleeping in a hospital bed in the living room, and Lillie spending many nights near him, on the sofa. Singing to him, comforting him as best she could!!
4. Young Joey suffering many bouts with bronchitis & asthma(sp), and being hospitalized several times. Working at the Vet's after school, and Betty's Luncheonette on weekends.
5. The family photos of all of Joe's family, esp. when he & his sister were younger. Nancy was a beautiful young girl.
"G.I. Joe & Lillie" is a wonderful book, and will be a Blessing to many Vets & their families, and will encourage many of us to persevere through life's trials.
opal
Member
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The book made me remember what my father went through when he was in the war. And yes little Joey dose look like his mom, his fathers love for his mom was true and it,s shows. When children grow up in a home of no affection or love . It,s hard for them to over come that. But G.I. JOE did and from that love there are two extra special people. Men who have gone through war have a different look on there face. THEY NEVER FORGET. What happen to them, my father is 80y rs and still,s have nightmare. But the part about his dad escape form the home was great, my dad still,s try they put a motion detector on him. so he wont get out. The first time he went to the store and got little bottles of liquor and hid them in the back of the toilet tank , the nurse didn't,t find them for one week. He still,s does lot,s of stuff to keep them on there feet.
Acresaway
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Originally posted by merry:
As for the relevance of this story to today's war, I think intensity of the
parrallel is yet to be seen.
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Today's "liberation" coverage is certainly a great parallel. Watching the
toppling of the statue (of a man who also had genocidal tendencies) and the
jubiliation of the people was good for the soul, just as it was for the
people who were listening for news during WWII. We will someday be able to
talk about a "V-I Day," just as we talk about "V-J Day" and V-E Day" too.
While we know it is far from over, it was great to hear the reporters in Iraq
saying that it feels "like Paris 1944." Of course, most of them probably
weren't born yet.
firefly58
My favorite part of the book was when Joe and Nancy were returning from a
visit to the cemetary. They were singing songs about "colors". Lillie had
been quiet and suddenly out of the blue she began singing "OHHHHH, the old
gray mare she ain't what she used to be"
JennyS
Firefly, That was one of my fav. parts too! Showed Lillie still had her sense
of humor! No matter what she went there, even the death of the man that she
loved so much, still time to laugh! Maybe, thats what got her threw
everything.
VCexplorer
Most of the funny things have been mentioned. One story that brought a memory
and a laugh was the one about Lillie going up with flight crews, then later
being afraid to cross a bridge.
One of the most poignant moments was when the lieutenant was killed, and GI
Joe took action by running in shooting and throwing grenades killing the
German soldiers. Then was left on the field for several days. I agree with
the rest of you on GI Joe's escape from the Veteran's Home too.
WizardofZA
Another thread of this book that I thought was relevant to so many of us was
how Joey and Nancy found themselves to be part of the "sandwich generation."
They were constantly concerned about their parents' safety, Nancy felt a
major responsibility to constantly keep checking on them, etc. GI Joe and
Lillie earned the right to go to the Veteran's Home for their care; but not
everybody has that option. Do any of you find yourselves taking care of aging
parents? How do you solve some of your issues?
merry
quote:
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Originally posted by WizardofZA:
Do any of you find yourselves taking care of aging parents? How do you solve
some of your issues?
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Oh what a question you have posed. I am now the 'primary caregiver' for my
mother who will be 81 in July-she also has lung cancer. It is not an easy
task and some days are more difficult than others. I often have friends and
colleagues who tell me what a wonderful thing I'm doing and what a sacrifice
I'm making, etc., etc. In some ways maybe I am, but I've never really looked
at it that way. To me it's just something that I have to do--and too, others
will tell me I don't. Guess I just feel differently. My father passed away
twenty-six years and it's pretty much been just my mother and I since (my
older brothers had already moved away from home) and so it's just natural to
me to 'continue'. I've always believe the Lord doesn't give us any more than
we can handle (even though there ARE times when you wonder just how much more
you're going to get). In the end, you persevere.
Everyone deals with things differently-obviously. Some would just fall apart
while others just (pardon my french) suck it up and do what needs to be done.
There are days when I'm low--which is natural for anyone in any
situation--but the good outnumber the bad. There's always a friend to reach
out and help. And there's always some sort of 'escape' even if it's just a
bubble bath and a good book. You learn to cope, you learn who your support
network is an how to access them. Some days it may just be something as
simple as logging on here and seeing a funny post or reading a poinant
tale--or even asking for a prayer or two. Those to whom you are close and
those who care (about you) know your situation and they reach out much more
than what the person in the predicament 'seeks' assistance.
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Acresaway
Sadly to say, Jim and I are no longer part of the "sandwich generation." It
was exhausting at times when we were, but I would love to be able to care for
our parents again.
That said, it is a tough road to try to run to care for your parents who want
to stay in their own homes as long as possible. Those were my Mother's
wishes. Her home was 200 miles from mine, so the miles and the daily phone
calls added up and my worry was constant, even knowing that one of my
brothers lived in her same town. At one point, I went to stay with her for a
few weeks and I remember some nights where I would be up every 10 minutes.
She felt so badly about it and I told her it was what she had done for me,
like when I had whooping cough. It was the least that I could do for her.
Having children at home who need your attention too really pulls you apart
sometimes.
I really understood what Joe and Nancy went through when they had to finally
clear out their parent's home (and their old home) and move their parents to
the "soldier's home," as Jim and I moved his Dad to assisted living. Our
parents have been gone for years now, but I am still sorting pictures and
other memoirs, as that is where the family stories often lie. As I recall,
that is when Nancy found Lillie's journal. What a gift!
A SIDE NOTE: I have the EXACT SAME doll that Nancy has in the picture in the
book. What a surprise to see that! As I recall, they were called "life-sized
dolls" back then. Mine could use a doll doctor right now. I cut her hair way
back then...not a good thing...and her arm has fallen off.
ALSO: Our discussion of "GI Joe and Lillie" is now logged at
josephsbonsall.com. I am pleased that he felt our discussion worthy to post
on the site with the book.
Thanks, Joe! http://www.josephsbonsall.com/pages/orbboarddiscussion.html
VCexplorer
One question is asked each month: What is your favorite line from the book?
I'll go ahead and post mine.
"A veteran carries these thoughts with him throughout his life like a piece
of luggage that is handcuffed to his heart."
<<Our discussion of "GI Joe and Lillie" is now logged at josephsbonsall.com.>>
Thanks, Joe!